food for thought

to pucker or not to pucker...

"When life gives you lemons; make lemonade."

Great idea, right? But, what if your lemons are really sour? Or rotten and moldy? Then what are you supposed to do with them? You certainly don't want to make lemonade. I say, throw them into the garbage disposal and relish in the grinding sound as those stupid lemons are obliterated into pulp and washed down the drain. Added bonus: your disgust in said wretched lemons will be eased with the satisfying notion that they are gone. And maybe, just maybe, your disposal will be lemony fresh!

ordinary turned extraordinary...

Random. Simple. Everyday, ordinary objects...

Look again...

artsy fartsy

So lately I've been doing a lot of projects on the computer... either by combining images I've found online, or using photos of my own and then adding quotes or phrases to them. Not sure what the purpose of all this really is, but hey, it's fun for me and you never know when you just might...

Courage does not always roar.

Sometimes courage is the little voice

at the end of the day saying,

"I will try again tomorrow."

~Mary Anne Radmacher

Memories in the making...

Saturday was a perfect fall day, so we decided to take a little family adventure down to a pumpkin patch / corn maze south of town. Although this place is more known for its nighttime, haunted version of its attractions, the day time, kid friendly, no scaring version was just right for us. There was a bouncy castle, a mini corn maze, hay ride, a cute baby calf to pet and games to play.

Caleb and I also tried out the 12 acre corn maze which proved to be an excellent source of exercise as it took us about 40 minutes to complete start to finish! We had so much fun and plenty of laughs as we zig-zagged around the corn field! Proud to say, my son has definitely inherited my excellent sense of direction! ;)

We had a wonderful time and enjoyed, yet again, the great perk of Daddy having weekends off! Yay!

The Challenge

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." ~ Henry Ellis


This is one of my favorite quotes. The words are so basic, but hold such tremendous truth and wisdom. I feel as though I am at a point where something needs to change...something needs to be different. And, I believe, it is the way I think about (ahem) certain things...

So, to all of those out there like myself, who burden our hearts and souls with the heavy loads we continuously pile on ourselves - the challenge is this:

Let go.

Let go of all those things that are useless to worry about, or are out of your control. Let go of any acquaintances that do not help to fulfill you and your life. Let go of the guilt you place on yourself for not being the perfect______ (fill in the blank with whatever "titles" you hold - mine being: Mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, aunt, neighbor). No one is perfect. No one has it all figured out. This I know for sure. Let go of fear; it will only stop happiness from coming in. And finally, let go of the mask. This is a huge one for me. Let go of hiding behind that "everything is good!" persona that we want everyone else to see. Let it go. Be real. It is so much better.

Hold on.

Hold on to all that brings you happiness. Hold on to everything and everyone worthwhile of your love and attention. Hold on to honesty. Hold on to simplicity amongst all the chaos; be it sunshine, a child's laughter, or a good cup of coffee. Hold on to good friends; they make the journey we are on so much better. Hold on to your passions; they make us who we are. Hold on to memories.; they are the story board of our lives; telling where we have been, what we have overcome, and why we are the way we are. Hold on to inspiration big or small. Hold on to imperfections; they make life more interesting. Hold on to doing the best you can, and forget about the rest.


It is indeed a fine mingling... but it doesn't always have to be as hard as we make it...

Writings on the Wall...

I had written this post a while ago...it was left un-published in my long list of drafts... but it kept popping up in my mind. "Hello! I'm still here!" I would go back, read through it, and simply try to forget that the words still rang clear and true. And then yesterday, after reading another blogger's real, honest and open post about how much of a toll we take on ourselves when we hide behind a happy face when really we are crying and crumbling inside...A lightbulb began to flash! Her story spoke to my heart. There are others out there that feel this way... I'm not the only one! While the following words had poured out of me one evening months ago, I wouldn't allow myself to hit the "publish post" button. Nope. Not gonna happen. Time and time again I thought to myself, "just delete these crazy ramblings... What right do I have to complain?" And of course the ever popular, "if you post something like this, then everyone would know what you really feel like when you allow yourself to be real and honest."

Now that is a super scary thing... Everyone would know. Well...

Here goes nothing. *click!*

...At first, it seems like a dull ache. It's there, but is easily ignored. You are able to go about your usual routine, seemingly unaffected. This ache, which feeds upon being denied, grows into an ever present pulse. The attempt to push it down only makes it stronger. Ticking away inside your soul, it is the reminder that there is something off balance. And then it transforms yet again, into a torturing itch you just can't seem to reach. It is there...almost at your fingertips. Constantly antagonizing you. Taunting you. And finally you hit the boiling point. The pressure has been building and building for so long...you feel the pain radiating deep into every inch of you, but the calm before the storm continues to hide the havoc within. Like a volcano, which at first glance seems so picturesque on the outside. Strong and sturdy. A wonder of nature. But, eventually its violent contents can no longer be contained. How do you prepare for the lava? As well as the undeniable destruction that will inevitably follow...

Truth be told, this is how I feel within... There are so many battles being fought in my soul. Sometimes, I sort of feel like Lady Justice. You know her? She wears a blindfold, with her arm outstretched, holding a balancing scale... Too much weight on one side or the other, and she will topple. That's me. I am scrambling to find the proper balance of everything being piled on. Desperate to hold it all together before I topple over into a messy heap of chaos. I look at my family... My children...Our life...all those connected to us. I want so much to do the best for my children, always. But, how do we decide what is indeed best? Who has the authority to say what is right or wrong? Isn't that supposed to be me? Who gets to say "enough is enough", when you know and can feel that life isn't really being lived fully and happily? When does said happiness stop being cast aside and ignored? When do we decide to place some true value in our own existence? Shouldn't doing the best for my children be directly related to doing the best for myself?? *ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!*

Questions, questions, questions... It is so difficult to weed through the questions. Especially when there are those pesky feelings lingering in the shadows, eagerly waiting to pounce on you. You know, like, regret. Guilt. Anger. Fear. Frustration. Disappointment. Failure. Unfortunately those are the rulers of my mind. I admit fault, as I tend to be a people pleaser... a, "whatever you want is fine with me" type. Go with the flow. The one who doesn't value their own opinion enough to place it at the forefront. That's how I am. I hide behind a mask of indifference. I live it daily. I simply go through the motions...pretending to not be bothered by everything... because, of course, it could be worse. Right? But what kind of a way to live is that?? I struggle with this concept so much because, obviously I am actually aware that the way I choose to be isn't a very good thing. I see it. I know it. But, then I hear that other over-powering, persuading voice saying...

Don't rock the boat, Meg. Be strong. Steady. Be the Mom. The wife. Push down all the crap, put a fricken smile on and just laugh a little louder. Don't let anyone know or see what is going on behind that wall... Hold back the tears. You cannot let them see the fear... the heartache...the hurt.

It is easier to listen to that voice. Because actually doing something to change what has been the norm for years and years is hard. Really hard. Confusing. Frustrating. Foreign.

But what comes next?

The lava is seeping through the cracks as we speak... soon to fully erupt.

Is this a natural, primal instinct being provoked inside my heart and soul? Fight or flight? Do we "jump" and make some major changes? Will we fly or will we fall?? Hard to know. I guess if there is a real and honest attempt to do and be better, at least you can feel free of the pressure...the itch will be scratched. The pulse will calm. And the ache will subside...

or at least that's what I'm hoping for... because, of course, it really could be so much better...

Right??

First Day of School

It's that time of year again... Time for backpacks and notebooks, gluesticks and markers, spiffy new clothes, shoes and fresh white socks! New teachers and friends are waiting to be met and these two boys could not be more excited for school to begin!!!

Brady ~ 1st grade

Caleb ~ 5th grade

Camping - round 2!

This past weekend, the kids and I loaded up the car and trekked East and North to visit Grandma & Grandpa O. while they were standing in as campground hosts at Mosomo Point. We had a great time and lucked out with beautiful weather.


With a view like this from their campsite, you can see why G-ma & G-pa love it out there so much!

This little girl was not always such a "happy camper", but once we were home she kept saying she, "likes to go camping...and sleep in a tent...and go swimming on the sunny beach."

The boys were totally into the camping experience... Especially when it included boating with Grandpa, and doing some fishing!

Here is the catch of the day! (Minus on large bullhead that Caleb caught, gross!) They were both so proud to show us what they reeled in!

Swimming was a major highlight for all the kids! I think they would've spent all day in the water if they could have!

Again, the view. I was in love with the magnificent show put on both evenings. Luckily I had my camera in hand while the sky was still bright enough to cast a gorgeous reflection into the glass- like waters. And I couldn't help but be in awe.

Thanks again for a fun weekend! We will definitely be back!

Rewind

Looking through the massive picture files, I noticed that I missed a few fantastic opportunities for posts on the ol' blog. So if you don't mind, here is a bit of a review of some highlights I missed...



We took the kids on their first camping adventure back in June! We went to Buffalo River State Park, which is about 15 miles east of Moorhead. It's a beautiful little area. We had so much fun and will hopefully find time to go back before summer is over!

A highlight to Buffalo S.P. is the swimming area! It is a man-made pond, that is filtered and chlorinated like a pool, but has a sandy bottom and beach like a lake! It's great! The kids had so much fun playing in the water and sand.
We so enjoyed our little family getaway. Even though it was just for a day. It doesn't get any better than being outdoors, having special eats and treats, chasing fireflies, sleeping in a tent, and waking up with the sun.

A weekly happening for the Saari crew this summer has been baseball! Caleb is in a 9 yr. old league this year, and plays for the 'RedHawks'. With Monday and Tuesday practices and Wednesday being game day with double-headers, the first half of most our weeks have been pretty busy since the end of May.

Brady got to have a taste of summer baseball this year too! He played "Big Bopper" with the 'Athletics' and even had Daddy for a coach! Big Bopper is basically t-ball with a large wiffle bat. This, of course, was slightly below Brady's normal "level of play", but he had a blast with it anyway!

Game days were definitely the highlight for the Athletics. It was so much fun to watch the kids improve as their short season went along. Unfortunately the weather wasn't very cooperative, and more than half of their games were rained out.

The last big event for June was Chuck & Julie's wedding! They were married on June 25th, (fun fact: June 25th this year just happened to be the 12th anniversary of Matt and my first official date as well as the 9th anniversary of our engagement... let's hear it?? "awwwwww!")

The bride and groom lucked out with perfect weather for an outdoor wedding in the country. It was a beautiful day for a lovely couple!

Here are the happy newlyweds ready to boogie the night away!

As Best Man, Matt thought it was his duty to take the groom for a spin around the dance floor. We had a great time dancing and celebrating Mr. & Mrs. Cofield to the very last song. Super fun night!



Maija has graduated from her crib into a BIG GIRL BED! She has done awesome with the transition and is so proud of her new, pretty bed!

And finally we have a few pictures from 4th & 5th of July. Sadly, I did not manage to take very many pictures of our two day celebration. But we had fun! Sunshine, BBQ and small explosives!? What could be better?

Sparklers were a huge hit with our kids on the 4th, and we set off a few smaller, ground fireworks in the driveway. Always a good time!

Even Noah got in on the action this year! He was a bit mesmerized by, and maybe a little afraid of the sparklers...

We got two days out of this holiday thanks again to the soggy weather we've been having all summer long! The 4th got cut a little short thanks to a slurry of storms that popped up before we really got to enjoy our usual fireworks festivities... But the 5th was much more pleasant and we did a 4th of July RE-DO with all the neighbors. More sparklers. More fireworks in the driveway. And the grand finale being the annual MSUM fireworks extravaganza viewed from the best spot in the neighborhood, our deck! Can't wait for next year!

So, I think that pretty well covers the important happenings that this blogger forgot to blog about!